Sometimes I really regret giving people my blog address. Because in doing so, I had indirectly restricted myself in the way I pen my thoughts. I have to censor every little thing that will cause me to be judged, or that will hurt someone’s feelings.
I once had a blog that is almost non-existent. Back then, I could write as freely as I wanted to. Without giving two hoots to anyone’s feelings. I could write about all my pent-up frustrations and little thoughts that no one knew. I wrote in unburdened liberation. That was the real me, I suppose.
At times, I wanted to throw all caution to the wind and write as I felt/thought. But, when pragmatism sets in, I hold myself back from publishing the post(s) that I so wanted to.
Yes, I could act all nonchalant and go ahead with my intention. But I couldn’t do so because, I’m afraid of repercussions, if any. I like to share a part of my life with friends who bothered to care. Who bothered to know what’s going on in my life, my mind. However, critical remarks were given oftentimes. This prevents me from penning my thoughts forthrightly.
Although this little ounce of privacy that I have left is being intruded upon, I can only say that for now, I’m happy like it is although I’m constantly trying to make this space a subjectively private one…
p.s A big thank-you to those who cared and asked after my dad. :D He’s fine and we’re all coping with it. Well, I do want to believe that the ailment will go away after some time. :)
